Two Poems by Mateo Lara

david-salle-picture-builder
Picture Builder by David Salle

 

The First Thought

For Shawn

 

A wick set us both to fire       set us both to anxious plight

separate loving chimes           in our throats

Melody cracked          Crevices between        last dialogue.

 

In the kitchen  I threw a phone at you which ruptures on your chest

Like that respect for heterosexuals

Who use the word “faggot”    meaning dumb and weak

Or perhaps      that one faulty line on your lips

About someone you love        who cannot be with you

At all   this was a channeling of different strength

Broken between two brown boys but one indistinct groan

Like that I sink under assimilation & pressure

Third time’s the charm

I like to break everything I touch

Friends run      rampant out of my life

Chaos is that white hand at my brown neck

Dark liquor in blood-shot eyes

what is the truth we omit?

Draining our best perspectives           lingering in a red cup

Or if the single most well-known plan

was you here   & not elsewhere

How fast would you leave?

She’ll run into you      harder than a train into this brick wall sentiment

Come complain about             what triggers you.

we were the same distinct broken men

Now in flight with your first thought

After the mighty impact.

 

 

 

 

Straight Swelling

 

You’re making me swell up

agitating drizzle into drought

pulsing passed me & taking everything.

 

I am growing in the water of your indifference

melting wax figure in your heat & hand

hoping that this waiting is essential

a mask of maturity in every low point

pointing us downward into our old selves.

 

Beauty was irrelevant in your eyes

right? when I’m down on my knees

& your thighs are shaking

fantasizing meteor showers, burning my name up

plummeting old stars into abdomen.

 

My shoulders are heavy with “right now” & “too soon”

lick me up like I lick you up

hold me up like I lift you up

welling like those planets exploding among this lazy darkness.

 

Tell me something is changing

I feel it sway through a pipeline of you

straight across this dream

straight down my spine.

 

 

 

Mateo Lara is a latinx queer poet working towards his degree at California State University of Bakersfield. He has a chapbook out callled, ‘X, Marks the Spot,’ available on Amazon. His poems have been featured in Orpheus, Empty Mirror, and EOAGH. You can find him on twitter @killeremm.

Two Poems by Mateo Lara

dispatches_from_the_front_lines__merion_estes

Dispatches from the Front Lines by Merion Estes

 

Boy with Red Wine

 

Vino tinto, the last language between commitment

Slurring weighty in the gut like a bad case of love

The kind of commitment momma used to have for her lover

Before he left without the note you get in the movies.

Or Vino Tinto, right here, chulo

The way you drink with the girls you like

And not me, juicy heart filled with blood

& the cheap stuff we bought at Walgreen’s.

It’s not like we were ever anything but this

Vato, I know what makes you weak

You cannot trust me the further you move into

Her room, drink another drink

American girl, latina with the curls, got you goin’ giddy.

Brindo por este final

Right under your foot

My head stirs alive & awake

And you’re teaching her the words for love

Regret despair thoughts left there

On the tip of your tongue

Reused too much & too often

Pulling the plug on our journey

I drink too much & you’ve just begun.

Bebo demasiado.

 

 

Sacrificio

For Mark

 

I say America land of beauty betrayed

Gut, rip through flesh

Fuck that, start a riot   pierce marble skin

Explosive device on red hand

No one listens when ideas are drowning.

Ya no soy yo mismo he says to me

But I swear leaving is extraction

sharp tongued, chained-up, rope-burned hands.

I swear this was

your year, ruminating, pooling blood

In your mouth noisy drone

Whisk away pull old feeling out.

A brush, raven feather on cheek, ripe with bitterness

Tight-lipped lover, “never-worn-out-kisses” boy

Trapping sense in mason jars, lightning bug restless

Waiting at the doorstep of closed-off heart.

Somos vidrio quebrado,

I cannot swear off my worth

Told seven times I no longer

Am threatening to a white world

This brown skin turned ash in quick forgotten

Get-me-out looks.

cultured, curated for the slaughtering

I’m not used to beauty            break precious glass

slit my neck

drain the blood.

 

 

Mateo Lara is a latinx queer poet working towards his degree at California State University of Bakersfield. He has a chapbook out callled, ‘X, Marks the Spot,’ available on Amazon. His poems have been featured in Orpheus, Empty Mirror, and EOAGH. You can find him on twitter @killeremm.

To order your copy of X, Marks the Spot; via Amazon, click here.