The First Thought
A wick set us both to fire set us both to anxious plight
separate loving chimes in our throats
Melody cracked Crevices between last dialogue.
In the kitchen I threw a phone at you which ruptures on your chest
Like that respect for heterosexuals
Who use the word “faggot” meaning dumb and weak
Or perhaps that one faulty line on your lips
About someone you love who cannot be with you
At all this was a channeling of different strength
Broken between two brown boys but one indistinct groan
Like that I sink under assimilation & pressure
Third time’s the charm
I like to break everything I touch
Friends run rampant out of my life
Chaos is that white hand at my brown neck
Dark liquor in blood-shot eyes
what is the truth we omit?
Draining our best perspectives lingering in a red cup
Or if the single most well-known plan
was you here & not elsewhere
How fast would you leave?
She’ll run into you harder than a train into this brick wall sentiment
Come complain about what triggers you.
we were the same distinct broken men
Now in flight with your first thought
After the mighty impact.
You’re making me swell up
agitating drizzle into drought
pulsing passed me & taking everything.
I am growing in the water of your indifference
melting wax figure in your heat & hand
hoping that this waiting is essential
a mask of maturity in every low point
pointing us downward into our old selves.
Beauty was irrelevant in your eyes
right? when I’m down on my knees
& your thighs are shaking
fantasizing meteor showers, burning my name up
plummeting old stars into abdomen.
My shoulders are heavy with “right now” & “too soon”
lick me up like I lick you up
hold me up like I lift you up
welling like those planets exploding among this lazy darkness.
Tell me something is changing
I feel it sway through a pipeline of you
straight across this dream
straight down my spine.
Mateo Lara is a latinx queer poet working towards his degree at California State University of Bakersfield. He has a chapbook out callled, ‘X, Marks the Spot,’ available on Amazon. His poems have been featured in Orpheus, Empty Mirror, and EOAGH. You can find him on twitter @killeremm.